to be honest it was holding back my dating life and most importantly my goal of having a family. when i brought a woman home after a date for a night cap, a roommates had just smoked weed out on the back deck. she walks in and said “ew it stinks like weed in here.” i said “sorry that’s my roommate”. she asked bluntly: “why do you have roommates?” and i thought about it a lot —and felt she was right. (it didnt work out with her but not for this reason haha) but it was time to move on. now i am going to take a few months to decide if it’s too big a house for just me. sorry, wordy answer. it was a lot of fun but i guess neverland is no more!

my house has 6 bedrooms, and for the last 20 years, friends and family (and randos from the internet) have lived with me. this year, i asked them all to move out. so when i asked some friends for their new mailing addresses for christmas cards, woody's response cracked me up: _this is what i expect to see for your card this year_ damn, that's good.

hahaha make a better one ant! or help me improve this one

when amazon gives you 6 hands of bananas instead of 6 bananas… you make pistachio banana bread. #cook